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M. R. Allons! After the great Companions, and to belong to them. |
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III. OUR HOSPITAL AND PATIENTS |
War, war, war. For me the beginning of the war was a torchlight tattoo on Salisbury Plain. It was held on one of those breathless evenings in July when the peace of Europe was trembling in the balance, and when most of us had a heartache in case---in case England, at this time of internal crisis, did not rise to the supreme sacrifice.
It was just the night for a tattoo---dark and warm and still. Away across the plain a sea of mist was rolling, cutting us off from the outside world, and only a few pale stars lighted our stage from above.
The field was hung round with Chinese lanterns throwing weird lights and shadows over the mysterious forms of men and beasts that moved therein. It was fascinating to watch the stately entrance into the field, Lancers, Irish Rifles, Welsh Fusiliers, Grenadiers and many another gallant regiment, each marching into the field in turn to the swing of their own particular regimental tune until they were all drawn up in order.
There followed a very fine exhibition of riding and the usual torchlight tricks, and then the supreme moment came. The massed bands had thundered out the first verse of the Evening Hymn, the refrain was taken up by a single silver trumpet far away---a sweet thin almost unearthly note more to be felt than heard---and then the bands gathered up the whole melody and everybody sang the last verse together.
The Last Post followed, and then I think somehow we all knew.
A week later I had a telegram from the Red Cross summoning me to London.
London was a hive of ceaseless activity. Territorials were returning from their unfinished training, every South Coast train was crowded with Naval Reserve men who had been called up, every one was buying kits, getting medical comforts, and living at the Army and Navy Stores. Nurses trained and untrained were besieging the War Office demanding to be sent to the front, Voluntary Aid Detachment members were feverishly practising their bandaging, working parties and ambulance classes were being organized, crowds without beginning and without end were surging up and down the pavements between Westminster and Charing Cross, wearing little flags, buying every half-hour edition of the papers and watching the stream of recruits at St. Martin's. All was excitement---no one knew what was going to happen. Then the bad news began to come through from Belgium, and every one steadied down and settled themselves to their task of waiting or working, whichever it might happen to be.
I was helping at the Red Cross Centre in Vincent Square, and all day long there came an endless procession of women wanting to help, some trained nurses, many---far too many---half-trained women; and a great many raw recruits, some anxious for adventure and clamouring "to go to the front at once," others willing and anxious to do the humblest service that would be of use in this time of crisis.
Surely after this lesson the Bill for the State Registration of Trained Nurses cannot be ignored or held up much longer. Even now in this twentieth century, girls of twenty-one, nurses so-called with six months' hospital training, somehow manage to get out to the front, blithely undertaking to do work that taxes to its very utmost the skill, endurance, and resource of the most highly trained women who have given up the best years of their life to learning the principles that underlie this most exacting of professions. For it is not only medical and surgical nursing that is learnt in a hospital ward, it is discipline, endurance, making the best of adverse circumstances, and above all the knowledge of mankind. These are the qualities that are needed at the front, and they cannot be imparted in a few bandaging classes or instructions in First Aid.
This is not a diatribe against members of Voluntary Aid Detachments. They do not, as a rule, pretend to be what they are not, and I have found them splendid workers in their own department. They are not half-trained nurses but fully trained ambulance workers, ready to do probationer's work under the fully trained sisters, or if necessary to be wardmaid, laundress, charwoman, or cook, as the case may be. The difficulty does not lie with them, but with the women who have a few weeks' or months' training, who blossom out into full uniform and call themselves Sister Rose, or Sister Mabel, and are taken at their own valuation by a large section of the public, and manage through influence or bluff to get posts that should only be held by trained nurses, and generally end by bringing shame and disrepute upon the profession.
The work in the office was diversified by a trip to Faversham with some very keen and capable Voluntary Aid Detachment members, to help improvise a temporary hospital for some Territorials who had gone sick. And then my turn came for more active service. I was invited by the St. John Ambulance to take out a party of nurses to Belgium for service under the Belgian Red Cross Society.
Very little notice was possible, everything was arranged on Saturday afternoon of all impossible afternoons to arrange anything in London, and we were to start for Brussels at eight o'clock on Tuesday morning.
On Monday afternoon I was interviewing my nurses, saying good-bye to friends---shopping in between---wildly trying to get everything I wanted at the eleventh hour, when suddenly a message came to say that the start would not be to-morrow after all. Great excitement---telephones---wires---interviews. It seemed that there was some hitch in the arrangements at Brussels, but at last it was decided by the St. John's Committee that I should go over alone the next day to see the Belgian Red Cross authorities before the rest of the party were sent off. The nurses were to follow the day after if it could be arranged, as having been all collected in London, it was very inconvenient for them to be kept waiting long.
Early Tuesday morning saw me at Charing Cross Station. There were not many people crossing---two well-known surgeons on their way to Belgium, Major Richardson with his war-dogs, and a few others. A nurse going to Antwerp, with myself, formed the only female contingent on board. It was asserted that a submarine preceded us all the way to Ostend, but as I never get further than my berth on these occasions, I cannot vouch for the truth of this.
Ostend in the middle of August generally means a gay crowd of bathers, Cook's tourists tripping to Switzerland and so on; but our little party landed in silence, and anxious faces and ominous whispers met us on our arrival on Belgian soil. It was even said that the Germans were marching on Brussels, but this was contradicted afterwards as a sensational canard. The Red Cross on my luggage got me through the douane formalities without any trouble. I entered the almost empty train and we went to Brussels without stopping.
At first sight Brussels seemed to be en fête, flags were waving from every window, Boy Scouts were everywhere looking very important, and the whole population seemed to be in the streets. Nearly every one wore little coloured flags or ribbons---a favourite badge was the Belgian colours with the English and French intertwined. It did not seem possible that war could be so near, and yet if one looked closer one saw that many of the flags giving such a gay appearance were Red Cross flags denoting that there an ambulance had been prepared for the wounded, and the Garde Civile in their picturesque uniform were constantly breaking up the huge crowds into smaller groups to avoid a demonstration.
The first thing to arrange was about the coming of my nurses, whether they were really needed and if so where they were to go. I heard from the authorities that it was highly probable that Brussels would be occupied by the Germans, and that it would be best to put off their coming, for a time at any rate. Private telegrams had long been stopped, but an official thought he might be able to get mine through, so I sent a long one asking that the nurses might not be sent till further notice. As a matter of fact it never arrived, and the next afternoon I heard that twenty-six nurses---instead of sixteen as was originally arranged---were already on their way. There were 15,000 beds in Brussels prepared for the reception of the wounded, and though there were not many wounded in the city just then, the nurses would certainly all be wanted soon if any of the rumours were true that we heard on all sides, of heavy fighting in the neighbourhood, and severe losses inflicted on the gallant little Belgian Army.
It was impossible to arrange for the nurses to go straight to their work on arrival, so it was decided that they should go to a hotel for one night and be drafted to their various posts the next day. Anyhow, they could not arrive till the evening, so in the afternoon I went out to the barriers to see what resistance had been made against the possible German occupation of Brussels. It did not look very formidable---some barbed-wire entanglements, a great many stones lying about, and the Gardes Civiles in their quaint old-fashioned costume guarding various points. That was all.
In due time my large family arrived and were installed at the hotel. Then we heard, officially, that the Germans were quite near the city, and that probably the train the nurses had come by would be the last to get through, and this proved to be the case. Affiches were pasted everywhere on the walls with the Burgomaster's message to his people:
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Citizens,---In spite of the heroic resistance of our troops, seconded by the Allied Armies, it is to be feared that the enemy may invade Brussels. If this eventuality should take place, I hope that I may be able to count on the calmness and steadiness of the population. Let every one keep himself free from terror---free from panic. The Communal Authorities will not desert their posts. They will continue to exercise their functions with that firmness of purpose that you have the right to demand from them under such grave circumstances. I need hardly remind my fellow-citizens of their duty to their country. The laws of war forbid the enemy to force the population to give information as to the National Army and its method of defence. The inhabitants of Brussels must know that they are within their rights in refusing to give any information on this point to the invader. This refusal is their duty in the interests of their country. Let none of you act as a guide to the enemy. Let every one take precautions against spies and foreign agents, who will try to gather information or provoke manifestations. The enemy cannot legitimately harm the family honour nor the life of the citizens, nor their private property, nor their philosophic or religious convictions, nor interfere with their religious services. Any abuse committed by the invader must be immediately reported to me. As long as I have life and liberty, I shall protect with all my might the dignity and rights of my fellow-citizens. I beg the inhabitants to facilitate my task by abstaining from all acts of hostility, all employment of arms, and by refraining from intervention in battles or encounters. Citizens, whatever happens, listen to the voice of your Burgomaster and maintain your confidence in him; he will not betray it. |
All that night refugees from Louvain and Termonde poured in a steady stream into Brussels, seeking safety. I have never seen a more pitiful sight. Little groups of terror-stricken peasants fleeing from their homes, some on foot, some more fortunate ones with their bits of furniture in a rough cart drawn by a skeleton horse or a large dog. All had babies, aged parents, or invalids with them. I realized then for the first time what war meant. We do not know in England. God grant we never may. It was not merely rival armies fighting battles, it was civilians---men, women, and children---losing their homes, their possessions, their country, even their lives. This invasion of unfortunates seemed to wake Brussels up to the fact that the German army was indeed at her gate. Hordes of people rushed to the Gare du Nord in the early dawn to find it entirely closed, no trains either entering or leaving it. It was said that as much rolling-stock as was possible had been sent to France to prevent it being taken by the Germans. There was then a stampede to the Gare du Midi, from whence a few trains were still leaving the city crammed to their utmost capacity.
In the middle of the morning I got a telephone message from the Belgian Red Cross that the Germans were at the barriers, and would probably occupy Brussels in half an hour, and that all my nurses must be in their respective posts before that time.
Oh dear, what a stampede it was. I told the nurses they must leave their luggage for the present and be ready in five minutes, and in less than that time we left the hotel, looking more like a set of rag-and-bone men than respectable British nursing sisters. One had seized a large portmanteau, another a bundle of clean aprons, another soap and toilet articles; yet another provident soul had a tea-basket. I am glad that the funny side of it did not strike me then, but in the middle of the next night I had helpless hysterics at the thought of the spectacle we must have presented. Mercifully no one took much notice of us---the streets were crowded and we had difficulty in getting on in some places---just at one corner there was a little cheer and a cry of "Vive les Anglais!"
It took a long time before my flock was entirely disposed of. It had been arranged that several of them should work at one of the large hospitals in Brussels where 150 beds had been set apart for the wounded, five in another hospital at the end of the city, two in an ambulance station in the centre of Brussels, nine were taken over to a large fire-station that was converted into a temporary hospital with 130 beds, and two had been promised for a private hospital outside the barriers. It was a work of time to get the last two to their destinations; the Germans had begun to come in by that time, and we had to wait two hours to cross a certain street that led to the hospital, as all traffic had been stopped while the enemy entered Brussels.
It was an imposing sight to watch the German troops ride in. The citizens of Brussels behaved magnificently, but what a bitter humiliation for them to undergo. How should we have borne it, I wonder, if it had been London? The streets were crowded, but there was hardly a sound to be heard, and the Germans took possession of Brussels in silence. First the Uhlans rode in, then other cavalry, then the artillery and infantry. The latter were dog-weary, dusty and travel-stained---they had evidently done some forced marching. When the order was given to halt for a few minutes, many of them lay down in the street just as they were, resting against their packs, some too exhausted to eat, others eating sausages out of little paper bags (which, curiously enough, bore the name of a Dutch shop printed on the outside) washed down with draughts of beer which many of the inhabitants of Brussels, out of pity for their weary state, brought them from the little drinking-houses that line the Chaussée du Nord.
The rear was brought up by Red Cross wagons and forage carts, commissariat wagons, and all the miscellaneous kit of an army on the march. It took thirty-six hours altogether for the army to march in and take possession. They installed themselves in the Palais de Justice and the Hôtel de Ville, having requisitioned beds, food and everything that they wanted from the various hotels. Poor Madame of the Hotel X. wept and wrung her hands over the loss of her beautiful beds. Alas, poor Madame! The next day her husband was shot as a spy, and she cared no longer about the beds.
In the meantime, just as it got dark, I installed my last two nurses in the little ambulance out beyond the barriers.
The Germans had asked for three days to pass through the city of Brussels; a week had passed and they showed no signs of going. The first few days more and more German soldiers poured in---dirty, footsore, and for the most part utterly worn out. At first the people of Brussels treated them with almost unnecessary kindness---buying them cake and chocolate, treating them to beer, and inviting them into their houses to rest---but by the end of the week these civilities ceased.
Tales of the German atrocities began to creep in---stories of Liège and Louvain were circulated from mouth to mouth, and doubtless lost nothing by being repeated.

There was no real news at all. Think how cut off we were---certainly it was nothing in comparison with what it was afterwards---but we could not know that then---and anyway we learnt to accommodate ourselves to the lack of news by degrees. Imagine a Continental capital suddenly without newspapers, without trains, telephones, telegraphs; all that we had considered up to now essentials of civilized life. Personally, I heard a good deal of Belgian news, one way and another, as I visited all my flock each day in their various hospitals and ambulances stationed in every part of the city.
The hospital that we had to improvise at the fire-station was one of the most interesting pieces of work we had to do in Brussels. There were 130 beds altogether in six large wards, and the Sisters had to sleep at first in one, later in two large dormitories belonging to firemen absent on active service. The firemen who were left did all the cooking necessary for the nursing staff and patients, and were the most charming of men, leaving nothing undone that could augment the Sisters' comfort.
It is a great strain on temper and endurance for women to work and sleep and eat together in such close quarters, and on the whole they stood the test well. In a very few days the fire-station was transformed into a hospital, and one could tell the Sisters with truth that the wards looked almost like English ones. Alas and alas! At the end of the week the Germans put in eighty soldiers with sore feet, who had over-marched, and the glorious vision of nursing Tommy Atkins at the front faded into the prosaic reality of putting hundreds of cold compresses on German feet, that they might be ready all the sooner to go out and kill our men. War is a queer thing!!
On the following Tuesday afternoon the Burgomaster of Charleroi came into Brussels in an automobile asking for nurses and bringing with him a permit for this purpose from the German authorities. Charleroi, which was now also in German hands, was in a terrible state, and most of the city burnt down to the ground. It was crammed with wounded---both French and German---every warehouse and cottage almost were full of them, and they were very short of trained people.
The Central Red Cross Bureau sent a message, asking if three of us would go back with him. Would we! Was it not the chance we had been longing for. In ten minutes Sister Elsie, Sister Grace and I were in that automobile speeding to Charleroi. I had packed quickly into a portmanteau all I thought I was likely to want in the way of uniform and other clothing, with a few medical comforts for the men, and a little tea and cocoa for ourselves. The two Sisters had done likewise---so we were rather horrified when we got to Hal, where we had to change automobiles, the Burgomaster said he could not possibly take any of our luggage, as we must get into quite a small car---the big one having to return to Brussels. He assured us that our things would be sent on in a few days---so back to Brussels went my portmanteau with all my clean aprons and caps and everything else, and I did not see it again for nearly a week. But such is war!
We waited nearly an hour at Hal while our German permits were examined, and then went off in the small car. It was heart-breaking to see the scenes of desolation as we passed along the road. Jumet---the working-class suburb of Charleroi---was entirely burnt down, there did not seem to be one house left intact. It is indeed terrible when historic and consecrated buildings such as those at Louvain and Rheims are burnt down, but in a way it is more pathetic to see these poor little cottages destroyed, that must have meant so much to their owners, and it makes one's heart ache to see among the crumbling ruins the remains of a baby's perambulator, or the half-burnt wires of an old four-post bed. Probably the inhabitants of Jumet had all fled, as there was no one to be seen as we went through the deserted village, except some German sentries pacing up and down.
Parts of Charleroi were still burning as we got to it, and a terrible acrid smoke pervaded everything. Here the poorer streets were spared, and it was chiefly the rich shops and banks and private houses that had been destroyed. Charleroi was the great Birmingham of Belgium---coal-pits all round, with many great iron and steel works, now of course all idle, and most of the owners entirely ruined. The town was absolutely crammed with German troops as we passed through; it had now been occupied for two or three days and was being used as a great military depot.
But Charleroi was not to be our final destination---we went on a few more kilometres along the Beaumont road, and drew up at a fairly large building right out in the country. It was a hospital that had been three parts built ten years ago, then abandoned for some reason and never finished. Now it was being hastily fitted up as a Red Cross hospital, and stretcher after stretcher of wounded---both French and German---were being brought in as we arrived.
The confusion that reigned within was indescribable. There were some girls there who had attended first-aid lectures, and they were doing their best; but there were no trained nurses and no one particularly in command. The German doctor had already gone, one of the Belgian doctors was still working there, but he was absolutely worn out and went off before long, as he had still cases to attend to in the town before he went to his well-earned bed. He carried off the two Sisters with him, till the morning, and I was left alone with two or three Red Cross damsels to face the night. It is a dreadful nightmare to look back at. Blood-stained uniforms hastily cut off the soldiers were lying on the floor---half-open packets of dressings were on every locker; basins of dirty water or disinfectant had not been emptied; men were moaning with pain, calling for water, begging that their dressings might be done again; and several new cases just brought in were requiring urgent attention. And the cannon never ceased booming. I was not accustomed to it then, and each crash meant to me rows of men mown down---maimed or killed. I soon learnt that comparatively few shells do any damage, otherwise there would soon be no men left at all. In time, too, one gets so accustomed to cannon that one hardly hears it, but I had not arrived at that stage then: this was my baptism of fire.
Among the other miseries of that night was the dreadful shortage of all hospital supplies, and the scarcity of food for the men. There was a little coffee which they would have liked, but there was no possibility of hot water. The place had been hastily fitted up with electric light, and the kitchen was arranged for steam cooking, so there was not even a gas-jet to heat anything on. I had a spirit-lamp and methylated spirit in my portmanteau, but, as I said, my luggage had been all wafted away at Hal.
But the night wore away somehow, and with the morning light came plans of organization and one saw how things could be improved in many ways, and the patients made more comfortable. The hospital was a place of great possibilities in some ways; its position standing almost at the top of a high hill in its own large garden was ideal, and the air was gloriously bracing, but little of it reached the poor patients as unfortunately the Germans had issued a proclamation forbidding any windows to be open, in case, it was said, anyone should fire from them---and as we were all prisoners in their hands, we had to do as we were bid.
At nine o'clock the Belgian doctor and the German commandant appeared, and I went off with the former to help with an amputation of arm, in one of the little temporary ambulances in the town of M------, three kilometres away. The building had been a little dark shop and not very convenient, and if the patient had not been so desperately ill, he would have been moved to Charleroi for his operation. He was a French tirailleur---a lad about twenty, his right arm had been severely injured by shrapnel several days before, and was gangrenous right up to the shoulder. He was unconscious and moaning slightly at intervals, but he stood the operation very well, and we left him fairly comfortable when we had to return to the hospital.
We got back about twelve, which is the hour usually dedicated to patients' dinner, but it was impossible to find anything to eat except potatoes. We sent everywhere to get some meat, but without success, though in a day or two we got some kind of dark meat which I thought must be horse. (Now from better acquaintance with ancient charger, I know it to have been so.) There was just a little milk that was reserved for the illest patients, no butter or bread. I was beginning to feel rather in need of food myself by that time. There had been, of course, up to then no time to bother about my own meals, and I had had nothing since breakfast the day before, that is about thirty hours ago, except a cup of coffee which I had begged from the concierge before starting with the doctor for the amputation case.
Well, there was nothing to eat and only the dirtiest old woman in all the world to cook it, but at three o'clock we managed to serve the patients with an elegant dish of underdone lentils for the first course, and overdone potatoes for the second, and partook ourselves gratefully thereof, after they had finished. In the afternoon of that day a meeting of the Red Cross Committee was held at the hospital, and I was sent for and formally installed as Matron of the hospital with full authority to make any improvements I thought necessary, and with the stipulation that I might have two or three days' leave every few weeks, to go and visit my scattered flock in Brussels. The appointment had to be made subject to the approval of the German commandant, but apparently he made no objection---at any rate I never heard of any.
And then began a very happy time for me, in spite of many difficulties and disappointments. I can never tell the goodness of ]the Committee and the Belgian doctor to me, and their kindness in letting me introduce all our pernickety English ways to which they were not accustomed, won my gratitude for ever. Never were Sisters so loyal and unselfish as mine. The first part of the time they were overworked and underfed, and no word of grumbling or complaint was ever heard from them. They worked from morning till night and got the hospital into splendid order. The Committee were good enough to allow me to keep the best of the Red Cross workers as probationers and to forbid entrance to the others. We had suffered so much at their hands before this took place, that I was truly grateful for this permission as no discipline or order was possible with a large number of young girls constantly rushing in and out, sitting on patients' beds, meddling with dressings, and doing all kinds of things they shouldn't.
I am sure that no hospital ever had nicer patients than ours were. The French patients, though all severely wounded and prisoners in the hands of the Germans, bore their troubles cheerfully, even gaily. We had a great variety of regiments represented in the hospital: Tirailleurs, Zouaves, one Turco from Algeria---our big good-natured Adolphe---soldiers from Paris, from Brittany and from Normandy, especially from Calvados. The German soldiers, too, behaved quite well, and were very grateful for everything done for them---mercifully we had no officers. We had not separate rooms for them---French and German soldiers lay side by side in the public wards.
One of the most harrowing things during that time was the way all the Belgians were watching for the English troops to deliver them from the yoke of their oppressor. Every day, many times a day, when German rules got more and more stringent and autocratic, and fresh tales of unnecessary harshness and cruelty were circulated, they would say over and over again, "Where are the English? If only the English would come!" Later they got more bitter and we heard, "Why don't the English come and help us as they promised? If only the English would come, it would be all right." And so on, till I almost felt as if I could not bear it any longer. One morning some one came in and said English soldiers had been seen ten kilometres away. We heard the sound of distant cannon in a new direction, and watched and waited, hoping to see the English ride in. But some one must have mistaken the German khaki for ours, for no English were ever near that place. There was no news of what was really happening in the country, no newspapers ever got through, and we had nothing to go upon but the German affiches proclaiming victories everywhere, the German trains garlanded with laurels and faded roses, marked "Destination---Paris," and the large batches of French prisoners that were constantly marched through the town. An inscription written over a doorway in Charleroi amused us rather: "Vive Guillaume II, roi de l'univers." Not yet, not yet, William.
Later on the Belgians issued a wonderful little newspaper at irregular intervals of three or four days, typewritten and passed from hand to hand. The most amazing news was published in it, which we always firmly believed, till it was contradicted in the next issue. I collected two or three copies of this paper as a curiosity, but unfortunately lost them later on, with all my papers and luggage. One or two items I remember quite well. One gave a vivid account of how the Queen of Holland had killed her husband because he had allowed the Germans to pass through Maestricht; another even more circumstantial story was that England had declared war on Holland, Holland had submitted at once, and England imposed many stringent conditions, of which I only remember two. One was, that all her trade with Germany should cease at once; secondly, that none of her lighthouses should show light at night.
One of the German surgeons who used to operate at our hospital was particularly ingenious in inventing tortures for me; I used to have to help him in his operations, and he would recount to me with gusto how the English had retreated from Mons, how the Germans were getting nearer and nearer to Paris, how many English killed, wounded and prisoners there were, and so on. One morning he began about the Fleet and said that a great battle was going on in the North Sea, and going very badly for the English. I had two brothers fighting in the North Sea of whom I had no news since the war began, and I could bear it no longer, but fled from the operating-room.
Charleroi and its neighbourhood was just one large German camp, its position on the railway making it a particularly valuable base for them. The proclamations and rules for the behaviour of the inhabitants became daily more and more intolerant. It was forbidden to lock the door, or open the window, or pull down the blinds, or allow your dog out of the house; all German officers were to be saluted---and if there was any doubt, any German soldier was to be saluted, and so on, day after day. One really funny one I wish I could reproduce. It forbade anyone to "wear a menacing look" but it did not say who was to be the judge of this look.
Every one was too restless and unhappy to settle to anything, all the most important shops were burnt down, and very few of those that were left were open. The whole population seemed to spend all their time in the street waiting for something to happen. Certainly the Germans seem to have had a special "down" on Charleroi and its neighbourhood, so many villages in its vicinity were burnt down and most abominable cruelties practised on its inhabitants. The peasants who were left were simply terrorized, as no doubt the Germans meant them to be, and a white flag hung from nearly every cottage window denoting complete submission. In one village some German soldier wrote in chalk on the door of a house where he had been well received, "Güte Leute hier," and these poor people got chalk and tried to copy the difficult German writing on every door in the street. I am afraid that did not save them, however, when their turn came. It was the utter ruthlessness and foresight with which every contingency was prepared for that appalled me and made me realize what a powerful enemy we were up against. Everything was thought out down to the last detail and must have been prepared months beforehand. Even their wagons for transport were all painted the same slate-grey colour, while the English and Belgians were using any cart they could commandeer in the early days, as I afterwards saw in a German camp Pickford's vans and Lyons' tea carts that they had captured from us. Even their postal arrangements were complete; we saw their grey "Feld-Post" wagons going to and fro quite at the beginning of the war.
Several people in Charleroi told me that the absolute system and organization of destruction frightened them more than the actual fire itself. Every German soldier had a little hatchet, and when Charleroi was fired, they simply went down the street as if they had been drilled to it for months, cutting a square hole in the panel of each door, and throwing a ball of celluloid filled with benzine inside. This exploded and set the house on fire, and later on the soldiers would return to see if it was burning well. They were entirely indifferent as to whether anyone were inside or not, as the following incident, which came under my notice, will show. Two English Red Cross Sisters were working at an ambulance in Charleroi, and lodging with some people in the centre of the city. When the town was being burnt they asked leave to go and try to save some of their possessions. They arrived at the house, however, and found it entirely burnt down, and all their things destroyed. They were returning rather sorrowfully to their hospital when an old woman accosted them and told them that a woman with a new-born infant was lying in bed in one of the burning houses.
The house was not burning badly, and they got into it quite easily and found the woman lying in bed with her little infant beside her, almost out of her wits with terror, but too weak to move. The nurses found they could not manage alone, so went down into the street to find a man. They found, after some trouble, a man who had only one arm and got him to help them take the woman to the hospital. One of the nurses was carrying the baby, the other with the one-armed man was supporting the mother, when the German soldiers fired at the little party, and the one-armed man fell bleeding at the side of the road. The Sisters were obliged to leave him for the moment, and went on with the mother and infant to the hospital, got a stretcher and came back and fetched the man and brought him also to the hospital. It was only a flesh wound in the shoulder and he made a good recovery, but what a pitiful little group to waste ammunition on---a newly confined mother and her infant, two Red Cross Sisters and a crippled man.
One can only imagine that they were drunk when they did these kind of things, for individually the German soldier is generally a decent fellow, though some of the Prussian officers are unspeakable. Discipline is very severe and the soldiers are obliged to carry out orders without troubling themselves about rights and wrongs. It is curious that very few German soldiers know why they are fighting, and they are always told such wonderful stories of German victories that they think the war will soon be over. When they arrived at Charleroi, for instance, they were told they were at Charleville, and nearly all our wounded German soldiers thought they were already in France. They also thought Paris was already taken and London in flames. It hardly seems worth while to lie to them in this way, for they are bound to find out the truth sooner or later.
After we had had a long week of night and day work, two more of my nurses suddenly turned up at the hospital. They had most unexpectedly got a message that I had sent in by hand to Brussels, begging for nurses and saying how hard pressed we were, and had got permission to come out in a Red Cross motor-ambulance. I was, of course, delighted to see them, and with their help we soon settled down into the ordinary routine of hospital life, and forgot we were prisoners under strict supervision, having all kinds of tiresome rules and regulations to keep.
The question of supplies was a very difficult one from the first. We were short of everything, very short of dressings, chloroform and all kinds of medical supplies, and especially (even worse in one way) very short of hospital linen such as sheets and towels and shirts and drawers, and we had the greatest difficulty in getting anyone to come and wash for us. One might have thought that with almost every one out of work, there would have been no lack of women; but the hospital was a long way from the nearest town and I suppose they were afraid to come; also, of course, many, very many, had had their houses burnt, lost their all and fled away. The food question was a very difficult one also. We had to live just from day to day and be thankful for small mercies. Naturally for ourselves it would not have mattered at all, but it did matter very much for our poor patients, who were nearly all very ill. Meat was always difficult often impossible to get, and at first there was no bread, which, personally, I missed more than anything else; afterwards we got daily rations of this. Butter there was none; eggs and milk very scarce, only just enough for the very severely wounded. Potatoes and lentils we had in great quantities, and on that diet one would never starve, though it was not an ideal one for sick men.
I remember one morning when we had only potatoes for the men's dinner; the cook had just peeled an immense bucket of them and was putting them on to boil when some German soldiers came and took the lot, and this so infuriated the cook that we had to wait hours before we could get another lot prepared and cooked for the patients' dinner. The water-supply was another of our difficulties. All the watercourses in the neighbourhood were polluted with dead bodies of men and horses and no water was fit to drink. There was a horrible, greenish, foul-smelling stream near the hospital, which I suppose eventually found its way into the river, and it sickened me to imagine what we were drinking, even though it was well boiled.
It was very hot weather and the men all dreadfully thirsty. There was one poor Breton soldier dying of septicæmia, who lay in a small room off the large ward. He used to shriek to every passer-by to give him drink, and no amount of water relieved his raging thirst. That voice calling incessantly night and day, "A boire, à boire!" haunted me long after he was dead. The taste of long-boiled water is flat and nasty, so we made weak decoctions of camomile-tea for the men, which they seemed to like very much. We let it cool, and kept a jug of it on each locker so that they could help themselves whenever they liked.
Some of the ladies of the town were very kind indeed in bringing in wine and little delicacies for our sick, and for ourselves, too, sometimes. We were very grateful to them for all their kindness in the midst of their own terrible trouble and anxieties.
All the first ten days the cannon boomed without ceasing; by degrees it got more distant, and we knew the forts of Maubeuge were being bombarded by the famous German howitzers, which used to shake the hospital to its foundations. The French soldiers in the wards soon taught us to distinguish the sounds of the different cannon. In a few days we knew as well as they did whether it was French or German artillery firing.
Our hospital was on the main Beaumont road, and in the midst of our work we would sometimes glance out and watch the enormous reinforcements of troops constantly being sent up. Once we saw a curious sight. Two large motor-omnibuses with "Leipziger lokal-anzeiger" painted on their side went past, each taking about twenty-five German Béguine nuns to the battlefield, the contrast between this very modern means of transport and the archaic appearance of the nuns in their mediæval dress was very striking.
Suddenly one Sunday morning the cannonading ceased---there was dead silence---Maubeuge was taken, and the German army passed on into France. It is difficult to explain the desolating effect when the cannon suddenly ceases. At first one fears and hates it, then one gets accustomed to it and one feels at least something is being done---there is still a chance. When it ceases altogether there is a sense of utter desertion, as if all hope had been given up.
On the morning of September 1 the German commandant suddenly appeared in the wards at 7 o'clock, and said that all the German wounded were going to be sent off to Germany at once, and that wagons would be coming in an hour's time to take them to the station. We had several men who were not fit to travel, amongst them a soldier who had had his leg amputated only twelve hours before. I ought to have learnt by that time the futility of argument with a German official, but I pleaded very hard that a few of the men might be left till they were a little better able to stand the journey, for there is no nationality among wounded, and we could not bear even German patients to undergo unnecessary suffering. But my remonstrances were quite in vain, and one could not help wondering what would become of our wounded if the Germans treated their own so harshly. I heard from other ambulances that it was their experience as well as mine that the lightly wounded were very well looked after, but the severely wounded were often very inconsiderately treated. They were no longer any use as fighting machines and only fit for the scrap-heap. It is all part of the German system. They are out for one purpose only, that is to win---and they go forward with this one end in view---everything else, including the care of the wounded, is a side-issue and must be disregarded and sacrificed if necessary.
We prepared the men as well as we could for the long ride in the wagons that must precede the still longer train journey. Once on the ambulance-train, however, they would be well looked after; it was the jolting on the country road I feared for many of them. None of us were permitted to accompany them to Charleroi station, but the driver of one of the wagons told me afterwards that the man with the amputated leg had been taken out dead at the station, as he had had a severe hæmorrhage on the way, which none of his comrades knew how to treat. He also told us that all the big hospitals at Charleroi were evacuating their German wounded, and that he had seen two other men taken out of carts quite dead. We took this to mean very good news for us, thinking that the Germans must have had a severe reverse to be taking away their wounded in such a hurry. So we waited and hoped, but as usual nothing happened and there was no news.
We had a very joyful free sort of feeling at having got rid of the German patients. The French soldiers began to sing The Marseillaise as soon as they had gone, but we were obliged to stop them as we feared the German doctor or commandant, who were often prowling about, might hear. Losing so many patients made the work much lighter for the time being, and about this time, too, several of the severely wounded men died. They had suffered so frightfully that it was a great relief when they died and were at rest. The curé of the parish church was so good to them, never minding how many times a day he toiled up that long hill in the blazing sunshine, if he could comfort some poor soul, or speed them on their way fortified with the last rites of the Church.
One poor Breton soldier could not bear the thought of being buried without a coffin---he spoke about it for days before he died, till Madame D------, a lady living in the town to whom we owe countless acts of kindness, promised that she would provide a coffin, so the poor lad died quite happily and peacefully, and the coffin and a decent funeral were provided in due course, though, of course, he was not able to have a soldier's funeral. Some of these poor French soldiers were dreadfully homesick---most of them were married, and some were fathers of families who had to suddenly leave their peaceful occupations to come to the war. Jules, a dapper little pastrycook with pink cheeks and bright black eyes, had been making a batch of tarts when his summons had come. And he was much better suited to making tarts than to fighting, poor little man, for he was utterly unnerved by what he had gone through, and used to have dreadful fits of crying and sobbing which it was very difficult to stop.
Some of the others, and especially the Zouaves, one could not imagine in any other profession than that of soldiering. How jolly and cheerful they were, always making the best of everything, and when the German patients had gone we really had time to nurse them and look after them properly. Those who were able for the exertion were carried out to the garden, and used to lie under the pear-trees telling each other wonderful stories of what they had been through, and drinking in fresh health and strength every day from the beautiful breeze that we had on the very hottest days up on our hill. We had to guard them very carefully while they were in the garden, however, for if one man had tried to escape the hospital would have been burnt down and the officials probably shot. So two orderlies and two Red Cross probationers were always on duty there, and I think they enjoyed it as much as the men.
Suddenly a fresh thunderbolt fell.
One Sunday morning the announcement was made that every French patient was to go to Germany on Monday morning at eight.
We were absolutely in despair. We had one man actually dying, several others who must die before long, eight or ten who were very severely wounded in the thigh and quite unable to move, two at least who were paralysed, many who had not set foot out of bed and were not fit to travel---we had not forgotten the amputation case of a few days before, who was taken out dead at Charleroi station. I was so absolutely miserable about it that I persuaded the Belgian doctor to go to the commandant, and beg that the worst cases might be left to us, which he very pluckily did, but without the slightest effect---they must all go, ill or well, fit or unfit. After all the German patients were returning to their own country and people, but these poor French soldiers were going ill and wounded as prisoners to suffer and perhaps die in an enemy's country---an enemy who knew no mercy.
I could hardly bear to go into the wards at all that day, and busied myself with seeing about their clothes. Here was a practical illustration of the difference in equipment between the German and French soldiers. The German soldiers came in well equipped, with money in their pockets and all they needed with them. Their organization was perfect, and they were prepared for the war; the French were not. When they arrived at the hospital their clothes had been cut off them anyhow, with jagged rips and splits by the untrained Red Cross girls. Trained ambulance workers are always taught to cut by the seam when possible. Many had come without a cap, some without a great-coat, some without boots; all had to be got ready somehow. The hospital was desperately short of supplies---we simply could not give them all clean shirts and drawers as we longed to do. The trousers were our worst problem, hardly any of them were fit to put on. We had a few pairs of grey and black striped trousers, the kind a superior shopman might wear, but we were afraid to give those to the men as we thought the Germans would think they were going to try to escape if they appeared in civil trousers, and might punish them severely. So we mended up these remnants of French red pantaloons as best we could. One man we had to give civil trousers as he had only a few shreds of pantaloon left, and these he promised to carry in his hand to show that he really could not put them on.
The men were laughing and joking and teasing one another about their garments, but my heart was as heavy as lead. I simply could not bear to let the worst cases go. One or two of the Committee came up and we begged them to try what they could do with the commandant, but they said it was not the least use, and from what I had seen myself, I had to confess that I did not think it would be. The patient I was most unhappy about was a certain French count we had in the hospital. He had been shot through the back at the battle of Nalinnes, and was three days on the battlefield before he was picked up. Now he lay dying in a little side room off the ward. The least movement caused him acute agony, even the pillow had to be moved an inch at a time before it could be turned, and it took half an hour to change his shirt. The doctor had said in the morning he could not last another forty-eight hours. But if he was alive the next morning he would be put in those horrible springless carts, and jolted, jolted down to the station, taken out and transferred to a shaky, vibrating train, carrying him far away into Germany.
Mercifully he died very peacefully in his sleep that evening, and we were all very thankful that the end should have come a little earlier than was expected.
Late that night came a message that the men were not to start till midday, so we got them all dressed somehow by eleven. All had had bad nights, nearly all had temperatures, and they looked very poor things when they were dressed; even fat, jolly Adolphe looked pale and subdued. We had not attempted to do anything with the bad bed cases; if they must go they must just go wrapped up in their blankets. But we unexpectedly got a reprieve. A great German chief came round that morning, accompanied by the German doctor and German commandant, and gave the order that the very bad cases were to remain for the present. I cannot say how thankful we were for this respite and so were the men. Poor Jules, who was very weak from pain and high temperature, turned to the wall and cried from pure relief.
At 11.30 the patients had their dinner---we tried to give them a good one for the last---and then every moment we expected the wagons to come. We waited and waited till at length we began to long for them to come and get the misery of it over. At last they arrived, and we packed our patients into it as comfortably as we could on the straw. Each had a parcel with a little money and a few delicacies our ever-generous Madame D------ had provided. It was terrible to think of some of these poor men in their shoddy uniforms, without an overcoat, going off to face a long German winter.
So we said good-bye with smiles and tears and thanks and salutations. And the springless wagons jolted away over the rough road, and fortunately we had our bad cases to occupy our thoughts. An order came to prepare at once for some more wounded who might be coming in at any time, so we started at once to get ready for any emergency. The beds were disinfected and made up with our last clean sheets and pillow-cases, and the wards scrubbed, when there was a shout from some one that they were bringing in wounded at the hospital gate. We looked out and true enough there were stretchers being brought in. I went along to the operating theatre to see that all was ready there in case of necessity, when I heard shrieks and howls of joy, and turned round and there were all our dear men back again, and they, as well as the entire staff, were half mad with delight. They were all so excited, talking at once, one could hardly make out what had happened; but at last I made one of them tell me quietly. It appeared that when the wagons got down to Charleroi station, the men were unloaded and put on stretchers, and were about to be carried into the station when an officer came and pointed a pistol at them (why, no one knew, for they were only obeying orders), and said they were to wait. So they waited there outside the station for a long time, guarded by a squad of German soldiers, and at last were told that the train to Germany was already full and that they must return to the hospital. They all had to be got back into bed (into our disinfected beds, with the last of the clean sheets!) and fed and their dressings done, and so on, and they were so excited that it took a long time before they could settle down for the night. But it was a very short reprieve, for the next day they had to go off again and there was no coming back this time.
I often think of those poor lads in Germany and wonder what has become of them, and if those far-off mothers all think their sons are dead. If so, what a joyful surprise some of them will have some day---after the war.
This seemed a favourable moment for me to go to Brussels for a day or two to visit my flock. The Committee gave me leave to go, but begged me to be back in two days, which I promised to do. A laissez-passer had been obtained from the German commandant for a Red Cross automobile to go into Brussels to fetch some supplies of dressings and bandages of which all the hospitals in the neighbourhood were woefully short. And I was also graciously accorded a ticket of leave by the same august authority to go for two days, which might be extended to three according to the length of stay of the automobile.
The night before I left, an aeroplane which had been flying
very high above the town dropped some papers. The doctor with
whom I was lodging secured one and brought it [54]back triumphantly. It contained a message
from the Burgomaster of Antwerp to his fellow-citizens, and ended
thus: "Courage, fellow-citizens, in a fortnight our country
will be delivered from the enemy."
We were all absurdly cheered by this message, and felt that
it was only a matter of a short time now before the Germans were
driven out of Belgium. We had had no news for so long that we
thought probably the Antwerp Burgomaster had information of which
we knew nothing, and I was looking forward to hearing some good
news when I got to Brussels.
I found Brussels very much changed since I had left it some
weeks before. Then it was in a fever of excitement, now it was
in the chill of dark despair. German rule was firmly established,
and was growing daily more harsh and humiliating for its citizens.
Everything was done to Germanize the city, military automobiles
were always dashing through, their hooters playing the notes of
the Emperor's salute, Belgian automobiles that had been requisitioned
whirred up and down the streets filled with German officers' wives
and children, German time was kept, German money was current coin,
and every café and confectioner's shop was always crowded
with German soldiers. Every day something new was forbidden. Now
it was taking photographs---the next day no cyclist was allowed
to ride, and any cyclist in civil dress might be shot at sight,
and so on. The people were only just kept in hand by their
splendid Burgomaster, M. Max, but more than once it was just touch
and go whether he would be able to restrain them any longer.
What made the people almost more angry than anything else was
the loss of their pigeons, as many of the Belgians are great pigeon
fanciers and have very valuable birds. Another critical moment
was when they were ordered to take down all the Belgian flags.
Up to that time the Belgian flag, unlike every other town that
the Germans had occupied, had floated bravely from nearly every
house in Brussels. M. Max had issued a proclamation encouraging
the use of it early in the war. Now this was forbidden as it was
considered an insult to the Germans. Even the Red Cross flag was
forbidden except on the German military hospitals, and I thought
Brussels looked indeed a melancholy city as we came in from Charleroi
that morning in torrents of rain in the Red Cross car.
My first business was to go round and visit all my nurses.
I found most of them very unhappy because they had no work. All
the patients had been removed from the fire-station hospital and
nearly all the private hospitals and ambulances were empty too.
It was said that Germans would rather have all their wounded die
than be looked after by Englishwomen, and there were dreadful
stories afloat which I cannot think any German believed, of English
nurses putting out the eyes of the German wounded. Altogether
there were a good many English Sisters and doctors in Brussels---three
contingents sent out by the Order of St. John of Jerusalem, to
which we belonged, a large unit sent by the British Red Cross
Society, and a good many sent out privately. It certainly was
not worth while for more than a hundred English nurses to remain
idle in Brussels, and the only thing to do now was to get them
back to England as soon as possible. In the meantime a few of
them took the law into their own hands, and slipped way without
a passport, and got back to England safely by unofficial means.
The second afternoon I was in Brussels I received a note from
one of my nurses who had been sent to Tirlemont in my absence
by the Belgian Red Cross Society. The contents of the note made
me very anxious about her, and I determined to go and see her
if possible. I had some Belgian acquaintances who had come from
that direction a few days before, and I went to ask their advice
as to how I should set about it. They told me the best way, though
rather the longest, was to go first to Mâlines and then
on to Tirlemont from there, and the only possible way of getting
there was to walk, as they had done a few days previously, and
trust to getting lifts in carts. There had been no fighting going
on when they had passed, and they thought I should get through
all right.
So I set out very early in the morning accompanied by another
Sister, carrying a little basket with things for one or two nights.
I did not ask for any laissez-passer, knowing well enough
that it would not be granted. We were lucky enough to get a tram
the first part of the way, laden with peasants who had been in
to Brussels to sell country produce to the German army, and then
we set out on our long walk. It was a lovely late September morning,
and the country looked so peaceful one could hardly believe that
a devastating war was going on. Our way led first through a park,
then through a high-banked lane all blue with scabious, and then
at last we got on to a main road, when the owner of a potato cart
crawling slowly along, most kindly gave us a long lift on our
way.
We then walked straight along the Mâlines road, and I
was just remarking to my companion that it was odd we should not
have met a single German soldier, when we came into a village
that was certainly full of them. It was about 11 o'clock and apparently
their dinner hour, for they were all hurrying out of a door with
cans full of appetizing stew in their hands. They took no notice
of us and we walked on, but very soon came to a sandy piece of
ground where a good many soldiers were entrenched and where others
were busily putting up barbed-wire entanglements. They looked
at us rather curiously but did not stop us, and we went on. Suddenly
we came to a village where a hot skirmish was going on, two Belgian
and German outposts had met. Some mitrailleuses were there in
the field beside us, and the sound of rifle fire was crackling
in the still autumn air. There was nothing to do but to go forward,
so we went on through the village, and presently saw four German
soldiers running up the street. It is not a pretty sight to see
men running away. These men were livid with terror and gasping
with deep breaths as they ran. One almost brushed against me as
he passed, and then stopped for a moment, and I thought he was
going to shoot us. But in a minute they went on towards the barbed-wire
barricades and we made our way up the village street. Bullets
were whistling past now, and every one was closing their shops
and putting up their shutters. Several people were taking refuge
behind a manure heap, and we went to join them, but the proprietor
came out and said we must not stay there as it was dangerous for
him. He advised us to go to the hotel, so we went along the street
until we reached it, but it was not a very pleasant walk, as bullets
were flying freely and the mitrailleuse never stopped going pom-pom-pom.
We found the hotel closed when we got to it, and the people
absolutely refused to let us come in, so we stood in the road
for a few minutes, not knowing which way to go. Then a Red Cross
doctor saw us, and came and told us to get under cover at once.
We explained that we desired nothing better, but that the hotel
was shut, so he very kindly took us to a convent near by. It was
a convent of French nuns who had been expelled from France and
come to settle in this little village, and when they heard who
we were they were perfectly charming to us, bringing beautiful
pears from their garden and offering to keep us for the night.
We could not do that, however, it might have brought trouble on
them; but we rested half an hour and then made up our minds to
return to Brussels. We could not go forward as the Mâlines
road was blocked with soldiers, and we were afraid we could not
get back the way we had come, past the barbed-wire barricades,
but the nuns told us of a little lane at the back of their convent
which led to the high road to Brussels, about fifteen miles distant.
We went down this lane for about an hour, and then came to a road
where four roads met, just as the nuns had said. I did not know
which road to take, so asked a woman working outside the farm.
She spoke Flemish, of which I only know a few words, and either
I misunderstood her, or she thought we were German Sisters, for
she pointed to another lane at the left which we had not noticed,
and we thought it was another short cut to Brussels.
We had only gone a few yards down this lane when we met a German
sentry who said "Halt!" We were so accustomed to them
that we did not take much notice, and I just showed my Red Cross
brassard as I had been accustomed to do in Charleroi when stopped.
This had the German eagle stamped on it as well as the Belgian
Red Cross stamp. The man saluted and let us pass. Now I
realize that he too thought we were German Sisters.
We went on calmly down the lane and in two minutes we fell
into a whole German camp. There were tents and wagons and cannon
and camp fires, and thousands of soldiers. I saw some carts there
which they must have captured from the English bearing the familiar
names of "Lyons' Tea" and "Pickford" vans!
An officer came up and asked in German what we wanted. I replied
in French that we were two Sisters on our way to Brussels. Fortunately
I could produce my Belgian Carte d'Identité, which had
also been stamped with the German stamp. The only hope was to
let him think we were Belgians. Had they known we were English
I don't think anything would have saved us from being shot as
spies. The officer had us searched, but found nothing contraband
on us and let us go, though he did not seem quite satisfied. He
really thought he had found something suspicious when he spied
in my basket a small metal case. It contained nothing more compromising,
however, than a piece of Vinolia soap. We had not the least idea
which way to go when we were released, and went wrong first, and
had to come back through that horrible camp again. Seven times
we were stopped and searched, and each time I pointed to my German
brassard and produced my Belgian Carte d'Identité. Sister
did not speak French or German, but she was very good and did
not lose her head, or give us away by speaking English to me.
And at last---it seemed hours to us---we got safely past the last
sentry. Footsore and weary, but very thankful, we trudged back
to Brussels.
But that was not quite the end of our adventure, for just as
we were getting into Brussels an officer galloped after us, and
dismounted as soon as he got near us. He began asking in broken
French the most searching questions as to our movements. I could
not keep it up and had to tell him that we were English. He really
nearly fell down with surprise, and wanted to know, naturally
enough, what we were doing there. I told him the exact truth---how
we had started out for Mâlines, were unable to get there
and so were returning to Brussels. "But," he said at
once, "you are not on the Mâlines road." He had
us there, but I explained that we had rested at a convent and
that the nuns had shown us a short cut, and that we had got on
to the wrong road quite by mistake. He asked a thousand questions,
and wanted the whole history of our lives from babyhood up. Eventually
I satisfied him apparently, for he saluted, and said in English
as good as mine, "Truly the English are a wonderful nation,"
mounted his horse and rode away.
I did not try any more excursions to Tirlemont after that,
but heard later on that my nurse was safe and in good hands.
My business in Brussels was now finished, and I wanted to return
to my hospital at M. The German authorities met my request with
a blank refusal. I was not at all prepared for this. I had only
come in for two days and had left all my luggage behind me. Also
one cannot leave one's hospital in this kind of way without a
word of explanation to anyone. I could not go without permission,
and it was more than sixty kilometres, too far to walk. I kept
on asking, and waited and waited, hoping from day to day to get
permission to return.
Instead of that came an order that every private ambulance
and hospital in Brussels was to be closed at once, and that no
wounded at all were to be nursed by the English Sisters. The doctor
and several of the Sisters belonging to the Red Cross unit were
imprisoned for twenty-four hours under suspicion of being spies.
Things could not go on like this much longer. What I wanted to
do was to send all my nurses back to England if it could be arranged,
and return myself to my work at M. till it was finished. We were
certainly not wanted in Brussels. The morning that the edict to
close the hospitals had been issued, I saw about 200 German Red
Cross Sisters arriving at the Gare du Nord.
I am a member of the International Council of Nurses, and our
last big congress was held in Germany. I thus became acquainted
with a good many of the German Sisters, and wondered what the
etiquette would be if I should meet some of them now in Brussels.
But I never saw any I knew.
After the Red Cross doctor with his Sisters had been released,
he went to the German authorities and asked in the name of us
all what they proposed doing with us. As they would no longer
allow us to follow our profession, we could not remain in Brussels.
The answer was rather surprising as they said they intended sending
the whole lot of us to Liège. That was not pleasant news.
Liège was rather uncomfortably near Germany, and as we
were not being sent to work there it sounded remarkably like being
imprisoned. Every one who could exerted themselves on our behalf;
the American Consul in particular went over and over again to
vainly try to get the commandant to change his mind. We were to
start on Monday morning, and on Sunday at midday the order still
stood. But at four o'clock that afternoon we got a message to
say that our gracious masters had changed our sentence, and that
we were to go to England when it suited their pleasure to send
us. But this did not suit my pleasure at all. Twenty-six
nurses had been entrusted to my care by the St. John's Committee,
four were still at M., and one at Tirlemont, and I did not mean
to quit Belgian soil if I could help it, leaving five of them
behind. So I took everything very quietly, meaning to stay behind
at the last minute, and change into civilian dress, which I took
care to provide myself with.
Then began a long period of waiting. Not one of my nurses was
working, though there were a great many wounded in Brussels, and
we knew that they were short-handed. There [67]was nothing to do but to walk about the
streets and read the new affiches, or proclamations, which
were put up almost every day, one side in French, the other side
in German, so that all who listed might read. They were of two
kinds. One purported to give the news, which was invariably of
important German successes and victories. The other kind were
orders and instructions for the behaviour of the inhabitants of
Brussels. It was possible at that time to buy small penny reprints
of all the proclamations issued since the German occupation. They
were not sold openly as the Germans were said to forbid their
sale, but after all they could hardly punish people for reissuing
what they themselves had published. Unfortunately I afterwards
lost my little books of proclamations, but can reproduce a translation
of a characteristic one that appeared on October 5. The italics
are mine.
Brussels: October 5, 1914.
During the evening of September 25 the railway line and the
telegraph wires were destroyed on the line Lovenjoul-Vertryck.
In consequence of this, these two places have had to render an
account of this, and had to give hostages on the morning of September
30.In future, the localities nearest to the place where similar
acts take place will be punished without pity---it matters
little whether the inhabitants are guilty or not. For this
purpose hostages have been taken from all localities near the
railway line thus menaced, and at the first attempt to destroy
either the railway line or telephone or telegraph, the hostages
will be immediately shot. Further, all the troops charged
with the duty of guarding the railway have been ordered to
shoot any person with a suspicious manner who approaches
the line or telegraph or telephone wires.
Von der Golst.
And Von der Golst was recalled from Brussels later on because
he was too lenient!
There is no reparation the Germans can ever make for iniquities
of this kind---and they cannot deny these things as they have
others, for they stand condemned out of their own mouths. Their
own proclamations are quite enough evidence to judge them on.
One cannot help wondering what the German standard of right
and wrong really is, because their private acts as well as their
public ones have been so unworthy of a great nation. Some Belgian
acquaintances of mine who had a large chateau in the country told
me that such stealing among officers as took place was unheard
of in any war before between civilized countries. The men had
little opportunity of doing so, but the officers sent whole wagon-loads
of things back to Germany with their name on. My friends said
naturally they expected them to take food and wine and even a
change of clothing, but in their own home the German officers
quartered there had taken the very carpets off the floor and the
chandeliers from the ceiling, and old carved cupboards that had
been in the family for generations, and sent them back to Germany.
They all begged me to make these facts public when I got back
to England. Writing letters was useless as they never got through.
Other Belgian friends told me of the theft of silver, jewellery,
and even women's undergarments.
It was not etiquette in Brussels to watch the Germans, and
particularly the officers. One could not speak about them in public,
spies were everywhere, and one would be arrested at once at the
first indiscreet word---but no one could be forced to look at
them---and the habit was to ignore them altogether, to avert one's
head, or shut one's eyes, or in extreme cases to turn one's back
on them, and this hurt their feelings more than anything else
could do. They could not believe apparently that Belgian
women did not enjoy the sight of a beautiful officer in full dress---as
much as German women would do.
All English papers were very strictly forbidden, but a few
got in nevertheless by runners from Ostend. At the beginning of
the German occupation the Times could be obtained for a
franc. Later it rose to 3 francs then 5, then 9, then 15 francs.
Then with a sudden leap it reached 23 francs on one day. That
was the high-water mark, for it came down after that. The Times
was too expensive for the likes of me. I used to content myself
with the Flandres Libérale, a half-penny paper published
then in Ghent and sold in Brussels for a franc or more according
to the difficulty in getting it in. These papers used to be wrapped
up very tight and small and smuggled into Brussels in a basket
of fruit or a cart full of dirty washing. They could not of course
be bought in the shops, and the Germans kept a very keen look-out
for them. We used to get them nevertheless almost every day in
spite of them.
The mode of procedure was this: When it was getting dusk you
sauntered out to take a turn in the fresh air. You strolled through
a certain square where there were men selling picture post-cards,
etc. You selected a likely looking man and went up and looked
over his cards, saying under your breath "Journal Anglais?"
or "Flandres Libérale?" which ever it
happened to be. Generally you were right, but occasionally the
man looked at you with a blank stare and you knew you had made
a bad shot, and if perchance he had happened to be a spy, your
lot would not have been a happy one. But usually you received
a whispered "Oui, madame," in reply, and then you loudly
asked the way to somewhere, and the man would conduct you up a
side street, pointing the way with his finger. When no one was
looking he slipped a tiny folded parcel into your hand, you slipped
a coin into his, and the ceremony was over. But it was not safe
to read your treasure at a front window or anywhere where you
might be overlooked.
Sometimes these newspaper-sellers grew bold and transacted
this business too openly and then there was trouble. One evening
some of the nurses were at Benediction at the Carmelite Church,
when a wretched newspaper lad rushed into the church and hid himself
in a Confessional. He was followed by four or five German soldiers.
They stopped the service and forbade any of the congregation to
leave, and searched the church till they found the white and trembling
boy, and dragged him off to his fate. We heard afterwards that
a German spy had come up and asked him in French if he had a paper,
and the boy was probably new at the game and fell into the trap.
About this time the Germans were particularly busy in Brussels.
A great many new troops were brought in, amongst them several
Austrian regiments and a great many naval officers and men. It
was quite plain that some big undertaking was planned. Then one
day we saw the famous heavy guns going out of the city along the
Antwerp road. I had heard them last at Maubeuge, now I was to
hear them again. Night and day reinforcements of soldiers poured
into Brussels at the Gare du Nord, and poured out at the Antwerp
Gate. No one whatever was permitted to pass to leave the city,
the trams were all stopped at the barriers, and aeroplanes were
constantly hovering above the city like huge birds of prey.
On Sunday, September 27, we woke to hear cannon booming and
the house shaking with each concussion. The Germans had begun
bombarding the forts which lay between Brussels and Antwerp. Looking
from the heights of Brussels with a good glass, one could see
shells bursting near Waelheim and Wavre St. Catherine. The Belgians
were absolutely convinced that Antwerp was impregnable, and as
we had heard that large masses of English troops had been landed
there, we hoped very much that this would be the turning-point
of the war, and that the Germans might be driven back out of the
country.
On Wednesday, September 30, the sounds of cannon grew more
distant, and we heard that Wavre St. Catherine had been taken.
The Belgians were still confident, but it seems certain that the
Germans were convinced that nothing could withstand their big
guns, for they made every preparation to settle down in Brussels
for the winter. They announced that from October 1 Brussels would
be considered as part of German territory, and that they intended
to re-establish the local postal service from that date. They
reckoned without their host there, for the Brussels postmen refused
to a man to take service under them, so the arrangement collapsed.
They did re-establish postal communication between Brussels and
Germany, and issued a special set of four stamps. They were the
ordinary German stamps of 3, 5, 10 and 20 pfennig, and were surcharged
in black "Belgien 3, 5, 10 and 20 centimes."
About this time, too, they took M. Max, the Burgomaster, off
to Liège as prisoner, on the pretext that Brussels had
not yet paid the enormous indemnity demanded of it. He held the
people in the hollow of his hand, and the Brussels authorities
very much feared a rising when he was taken off. But the Echevins,
or College of Sheriffs, rose to the occasion, divided his work
between them, and formed a local police composed of some of the
most notable citizens of the town. They were on duty all day and
night and divided the work into four-hour shifts, and did splendid
work in warning the people against disorderly acts and preventing
disturbances. It is not difficult to guess what would have happened
if these patriotic citizens had not acted in this way---there
would most certainly have been a rising among the people, and
the German reprisals would have been terrible. As it was a German
soldier who was swaggering alone down the Rue Basse was torn in
pieces by the angry crowd, but for some reason this outbreak was
hushed up by the German authorities.
The authorities seemed to be far too busy to trouble themselves
about our affairs, and we could get no news as to what was going
to happen to us. There was a good deal of typhoid fever in Brussels,
and I thought I would employ this waiting time in getting inoculated
against it, as I had not had time to do so before leaving England.
This operation was performed every Saturday by a doctor at
the Hôpital St. Pierre, so on Saturday, October 3, I repaired
there to take my turn with the others. The prick was nothing,
and it never occurred to me that I should take badly, having had,
I believe, typhoid when a child. But I soon began to feel waves
of hot and cold, then a violent headache came on, and I was forced
to go to bed with a very painful arm and a high temperature. I
tossed about all night, and the next morning I was worse rather
than better. At midday I received a message that every English
Sister and doctor in Brussels was to leave for England the next
day, via Holland, in a special train that had been chartered by
some Americans and accompanied by the American Consul. How I rejoiced
at my fever, for now I had a legitimate excuse for staying behind,
for except at the point of the sword I did not mean to leave Belgium
while I still had nurses there who might be in danger. The heads
of all the various parties were requested to let their nurses
know that they must be at the station the next day at 2 P. M.
Several of my nurses were lodging in the house I was in, and I
sent a message to them and to all the others that they must be
ready at the appointed place and time. I also let a trusted few
know that I did not mean to go myself, and gave them letters and
messages for England.
The next morning I was still not able to get up, but several
of my people came in to say good-bye to me in bed, and I wished
them good luck and a safe passage back to England. By 1 P. M.
they were all gone, and a great peace fell over the house. I struggled
out of bed, put all traces of uniform away, and got out my civilian
dress. I was no longer an official, but a private person out in
Belgium on my own account, and intended to walk to Charleroi by
short stages as soon as I was able. I returned to bed, and at
five o'clock I was half asleep, half picturing my flock on their
way to England, when there was a great clamour and clatter, and
half a dozen of them burst into my room. They were all back once
more!
They told me they had gone down to the station as they were
told, and found the special train for Americans going off to the
Dutch frontier. Their names were all read out, but they were not
allowed to get into the train, and were told they were not going
that day after all. The German officials present would give no
reason for the change, and were extremely rude to the nurses.
They told me my name had been read out amongst the others. They
had been asked why I was not there, and had replied that I was
ill in bed.
Just then a letter arrived marked "Urgent," and in
it was an order that I should be at the station at 12 P. M. the
next day without fail, accompanied by my nurses. I was
very sad that they had discovered I did not want to go, because
I knew now that they would leave no stone unturned to make me,
but I determined to resist to the last moment and not go if I
could help it. So I sent back a message to the Head Doctor of
the Red Cross unit, asking him to convey to the German authorities
the fact that I was ill in bed and could not travel the next day.
Back came a message to say that they regretted to hear I was ill,
and that I should be transferred at once to a German hospital
and be attended by a German doctor. That, of course, was no good
at all---I should then probably have been a German prisoner till
the end of the war, and not have been the slightest use to anyone.
I very reluctantly gave in and said I would go. We were told
that we should be safely conducted as far as the Dutch frontier,
and so I determined to get across to Antwerp if I could from there
and work my way back to Brussels in private clothes.
I scrambled up somehow the next day, and found a very large
party assembled outside the Gare du Nord, as every single English
nurse and doctor in Brussels was to be expelled. There must have
been fifteen or twenty doctors and dressers altogether, and more
than a hundred Sisters and nurses.
A squad of German soldiers were lined up outside the station,
and two officers guarded the entrance. They had a list of our
names, and as each name was read out, we were passed into the
station, where a long, black troop-train composed of third-class
carriages was waiting for us. The front wagons were, I believe,
full of either wounded or prisoners, as only a few carriages were
reserved for us. However, we crowded in, eight of us in a carriage
meant for six, and found, greatly to our surprise, that there
were two soldiers with loaded rifles sitting at the window in
each compartment. There was nothing to be said, we were entirely
in their hands, and after all the Dutch frontier was not so very
far off.
The soldiers had had orders to sit at the two windows and prevent
us seeing out, but our two guards were exceedingly nice men, not
Prussians but Danish Germans from Schleswig-Holstein, who did
not at all enjoy the job they had been put to, so our windows
were not shut nor our blinds down as those in some of the other
carriages were.
A whistle sounded, and we were off. We went very very slowly,
and waited an interminable time at each station. When evening
came on we had only arrived as far as Louvain, and were interested
to see two Zeppelins looming clear and black against the sunset
sky, in the Mâlines direction flying towards Antwerp. It
was not too dark to see the fearful destruction that had been
dealt out to this famous Catholic University, only built and endowed
during the last eighty years by great and heroic sacrifices on
the part of both clergy and people. The two German soldiers in
our carriage were themselves ashamed when they saw from the window
the crumbling ruins and burnt-out buildings which are all that
remain of Louvain now. One of them muttered: "If only the
people had not fired at the soldiers, this would never have happened."
Since he felt inclined to discuss the matter, one of us quoted
the clause from The Hague Convention of 1907 which was signed
by Germany:
The territory of neutral states is inviolable.
The fact of a neutral Power resisting even by force, attempts
to violate its neutrality cannot be regarded as a hostile act. This was beyond him, but he reiterated: "No civilians
have any right to fire at soldiers." And all the time they
were killing civilians by bombs thrown on open cities. So deep
has the sanctity of the army sunk into the German heart.
Night drew on, and one after another dropped into an uneasy
sleep. But we were squeezed so tight, and the wooden third-class
carriages were so hard, that it was almost more uncomfortable
to be asleep than to be awake. We persuaded the two German soldiers
to sit together as that made a little more room, and they soon
went to sleep on each other's shoulders, their rifles between
their knees. I was still feverish and seedy and could not sleep,
but watched the beautiful starry sky, and meditated upon many
things. We passed through Tirlemont, and I thought of my poor
nurse and wished I could get out and see what she was doing. Then
I began to be rather puzzled by the way we were going. I knew
this line pretty well, but could not make out where we were. About
three o'clock in the morning I saw great forts on a hill sending
out powerful search-lights. I knew I could not be mistaken, this
must be Liège. And then we drew up in the great busy station,
and I saw that it was indeed Liège. So we were on our way
to Germany after all, and not to the Dutch frontier as we had
been promised.
Next morning this was quite apparent, for we passed through
Verviers and then Herbesthal the frontier town. At the latter
place the doors of all our carriages were thrown violently open,
and a Prussian officer shouted in a raucous voice "Heraus."
Few of our party understood German, and they did not get out quickly
enough to please his lordship, for he bellowed to the soldiers:
"Push those women out of the train if they don't go quicker."
Our things were thrown out after us as we scrambled out on to
the platform, while two officers walked up and down having every
bag and portmanteau turned out for their inspection. All scissors,
surgical instruments and other useful articles were taken away
from the Sisters, who protested in vain against this unfair treatment.
The soldiers belonging to our carriage, seeing this, tumbled all
our possessions back into the carriage, pretending that they had
been examined---for we had become fast friends since we had shared
our scanty stock of food and chocolate together. I was personally
very thankful not to have my belongings looked at too closely,
for I had several things I did not at all want to part with; one
was my camera, which was sewn up inside my travelling cushion,
a little diary that I had kept in Belgium, and a sealed letter
that had been given me as we stood outside the station at Brussels
by a lady who implored me to take it to England and post it for
her there, as it was to her husband in Petrograd, who had had
no news of her since the war began. I had this in an inside secret
pocket, and very much hoped I should get it through successfully.
We were ordered into the train again in the same polite manner
that we had been ordered out. Our two soldiers were much upset
by the treatment we had received. One had tears in his eyes when
he told us how sorry he was, for he had the funny old-fashioned
idea that Red Cross Sisters on active service should be treated
with respect---even if they were English. He then told us that
their orders were to accompany us to Cologne; he did not know
what was going to happen to us after that. So Germany was to be
our destination after all.
At the next station we stopped for a long time, and then the
doors of the carriages were opened and we were each given a bowl
of soup. It was very good and thick, and we christened it "hoosh"
with remembrance of Scott's rib-sticking compound in the Antarctic;
and there was plenty of it, so we providently filled up a travelling
kettle with it for the evening meal. Then we went on again and
crawled through that interminable day over the piece of line between
Herbesthal and Cologne. Evening came, and we thought of the "hoosh,"
but when it came to the point no one could look at it, and we
threw t out of the window. A horrible yellow scum had settled
on the top of it and clung to the sides, so that it spoilt the
kettle for making tea---and we were so thirsty.
At last, late at night, we saw the lights of Cologne. We had
been thirty-two hours doing a journey that ordinarily takes six
or seven. We were ordered out of the train when we reached the
station, and were marched along between two rows of soldiers to
a waiting-room. No porters were allowed to help us, so we trailed
all along those underground corridors at Cologne station with
our own luggage. Fortunately it was so late that there were not
many people about. We were allowed to have a meal here, and could
order anything we liked. Some coffee was a great comfort, and
we were able to buy rolls and fruit for the journey.
An incident happened here that made my blood boil, but nothing
could be done, so we had to set our teeth and bear it. A waiter
came in smiling familiarly, with a bundle of papers under his
arm, and put one of these illustrated weeklies beside each plate.
On the front page was a horrible caricature of England---so grossly
indecent that it makes me hot now even to think of it. As soon
as I saw what they were, I went round to each place, gathered
them up and put them aside.
As we waited I wondered what was to be the next step, and could
not help thinking of my last visit to Cologne two years before.
Then I went as a delegate to a very large Congress and Health
Exhibition, when we were the honoured guests of the German National
Council of Nurses. Then we were fêted by the Municipality
of Cologne---given a reception at the Botanical Gardens, a free
pass to all the sights of Cologne, a concert, tableaux, a banquet,
I don't know what more. Now I was a prisoner heavily guarded,
weary, dirty, humiliated in the very city that had done us so
much honour.
After about three hours' wait we were ordered into another
train, mercifully for our poor bones rather a more comfortable
one this time, with plenty of room, and we went on our way, over
the Rhine, looking back at Cologne Cathedral, on past Essen and
Dusseldorf, into the very heart of Germany. It was rather an original
idea---this trip through the enemy's country in the middle of
the war!
In the morning we had a nice surprise. We arrived at Münster,
and found breakfast awaiting us. The Red Cross ladies of that
town kindly provide meals for all prisoners and wounded soldiers
passing through. They seemed very surprised when all we English
people turned up, but they were very kind in waiting on us, and
after breakfast we got what was better than anything in the shape
of a good wash. We had a long wait at Münster so there was
no hurry, and we all got our turn under the stand-pipe and tap
that stood in the station. Then on and on and on, and it seemed
that we had always been in the train, till at last, late one evening,
we arrived at Hamburg.
We were ordered out of the train here for a meal, and this
was by far the most unpleasant time we had. Evidently the news
of our arrival had preceded us, and a whole crowd of Hamburgers
were at the station waiting to see us emerge from the train.
They were not allowed on to the platform, but lined the outside
of the railing all the way down, laughing at us, spitting, hissing,
jeering, and making insulting remarks. And though we were English
we had to take it lying down. At the first indiscreet word from
any of us they would have certainly taken off the men of our party
to prison, though they would have probably done nothing more to
us women than to delay our journey. There were about fifteen doctors
and dressers with us, and we were naturally much more afraid for
their safety than for our own. I think I shall never forget walking
down that platform at Hamburg. We were hurried into a waiting-room,
the door of which was guarded by two soldiers, and a meal of bread
and cold meat ordered for us. The German waiters evidently much
resented being asked to serve us, for they nearly threw the food
at us.
Then something happened that made up for everything. A young
German officer came up and asked in very good English if there
was anything he could do for us in any way.
"I beg your pardon for speaking to you," he said,
"but I received so much kindness from every one when I was
in England, that it would be the greatest pleasure I could have
if I could help you at all." And he started by giving the
waiter the biggest blowing-up he had ever had in his life, for
which I could have hugged him. He then went off and came back
in a few minutes with fruit and chocolate and everything he could
find for us to take with us. He was a very bright and shining
star in a dark place. Then along the platform past that horrible,
jeering crowd and into the train once more.
It was night, and most of us were asleep when the train stopped
with a jerk, the doors of the train were thrown open, and the
fresh, salty smell of the sea met our nostrils. Some of the party,
hardly awake, thought they had to get out, and began to descend,
but such volumes of wrath met their attempt that they hastily
got in again. Every window in the train was shut, every blind
pulled down and curtains closed, and a soldier with loaded rifle
stood at each window. We were crossing the Kiel Canal. There were
a great many people in England who would have given anything to
have been in our shoes just then. But we saw absolutely nothing.
They forgot to give us any breakfast that day, but we did not
mind. Every mile now, along this flat, marshy country, was a mile
nearer Denmark and freedom, and our spirits rose higher every
moment. Though why the Germans should take us all through Germany
and Denmark, when they could just as easily have dropped us on
the Dutch frontier, I cannot even now imagine.
Early that afternoon we arrived at Vendrup, the Danish frontier,
and the soldiers and the train that had brought us all the way
from Cologne went back to Germany. It was difficult to realize
that we were free once more, after two months of being prisoners
with no news of home, tied down to a thousand tiresome regulations,
and having witnessed terrible sights that none of us will ever
forget. Strange and delightful it was to be able to send a telegram
to England once more and to buy a paper; wonderful to see the
friendly, smiling faces all round us. It felt almost like getting
home again.
Late that night we arrived in Copenhagen. The kindness we received
there surpasses all imagination. The Danish people opened their
arms in welcome and gave us of their best with both hands. Every
one went out of their way to be good to us, from the manager of
the delightful Hotel Cosmopolite, where we were staying, to the
utter strangers who sent us flowers, fruit, sweets, illustrated
papers and invitations to every possible meal in such profusion.
Miss Jessen, the secretary of the Danish Council of Nurses,
called at once and arranged a most delightful programme for every
day of our stay in Copenhagen, bringing us invitations to see
over the most important hospitals, and the Finsen Light Institute,
the old Guildhall, the picture gallery, and anything else any
of us wanted to see.
The president, Madame Tscherning, and the members of the same
council, arranged a most delightful afternoon reception for us
at the Palace Hotel, at which Dr. Norman Hansen welcomed us in
the name of Denmark, and read us a poem which he had written in
our honour.
Silent, we bid you welcome, in silence you answer'd our greeting C.
Norman Hansen, M. D.
That evening at dinner we all found a beautiful bunch of violets
tied up with the Danish colours on our plates, and a pretty Danish
medal with the inscription "Our God---our Land---our Honour"
which had been issued to raise a fund for the Danish Red Cross
Society. This was a little surprise for us on the part of the
manager of the hotel, who, like every one else, simply overwhelmed
us with kindness. One simply felt dreadfully ashamed of oneself
for not having done more to deserve all this.
On the first day of our arrival in Denmark came the news of
the downfall of Antwerp, and through all these delightful invitations
and receptions there was a feeling in my heart that I was not
free yet to enjoy myself. The downfall of Antwerp seemed almost
like a personal loss. We had been so close to it, had shared our
Belgian friends' hopes and fears, had watched the big German howitzers
going out on the Antwerp road, had heard the bombardment of the
forts, on our long journey through Belgium had seen the enormous
reinforcements being sent up to take it. And now it had gone,
and the Germans were marching on Ostend. What was the end of all
this going to be? We must win in the end---but they are
so strong and well organized---so dreadfully strong.
In that same paper I read an account from a Russian correspondent,
telling of the distress in Poland, which they described as the
"Belgium of Russia." It stated that the news just then
was not good; the Germans were approaching Warsaw, and that the
people in many of the villages were almost starving, as the Germans
had eaten up almost everything. (How well I could believe that!)
The paper went on to say that the troops were suffering severely
from cholera and from typhoid fever and that there was a great
scarcity of trained nurses. That gave me the clue for which I
was unconsciously seeking---we had been turned out of Belgium,
and now, perhaps, our work was to be in that other Belgium of
Russia.
Three other Sisters wished to join me, and I telegraphed to
St. John's to ask permission to offer our services to the Russian
Red Cross. The answer was delayed, and as we could not go to Russia
without permission from headquarters, we most reluctantly prepared
to go back to England with all the others.
On the last morning our luggage, labelled Christiania-Bergen-Newcastle,
had already gone down to the station when the expected telegram
arrived: "You and three Sisters named may volunteer Russian
Red Cross." We flew down to the station and by dint of many
tips and great exertions we got our luggage out again. I should
have been sorry to have lost my little all for the second time.
This permission to serve with the Russian Red Cross was confirmed
later by a most kind letter from Sir Claude Macdonald, chairman
of the St. John's Committee, so we felt quite happy about our
enterprise.
We could not start for Russia for another ten days. We were
to be inoculated against cholera for one thing, and then there
were passports and visés to get and arrangements for the
journey to be made. The ordinary route was by Abö, Stockholm
and Helsingfors, but we were very strongly advised not to go this
way, first, because of the possibility of mines in the Baltic,
and, secondly, because a steamer, recently crossing that way,
had been actually boarded, and some English people taken off by
the Germans. And we had no desire to be caught a second time.
So it was decided to my great joy that we should travel all
the way round by land, through Sweden, through a little bit of
Lapland, just touching the Arctic Circle, through Finland and
so to Petrograd. The thought of the places we had to go through
thrilled me to the core---Karungi, Haparanda, Lapptrask, Torneo---the
very names are as honey to the lips.
One might have expected that all the kindness and hospitality
would cease on the departure of the majority of the party, but
it was not so. Invitations of all kinds were showered on us. Lunches
were the chief form of entertainment and very interesting and
delightful they were. There was a lunch at the British Legation,
one at the French Legation, one at the Belgian Legation where
the minister was so pathetically glad of any crumbs of news of
his beloved country; a delightful dinner to meet Prince Gustav
of Denmark, an invitation to meet Princess Mary of Greece, another
lunch with Madame Tscherning, the president of the Danish Council
of Nurses, and the "Florence Nightingale of Denmark."
Altogether we should have been thoroughly spoilt if it had lasted
any longer! One of the most delightful invitations was to stay
at Vidbek for the remainder of our time, a dear little seaside
place with beautiful woods, just then in their full glory of autumnal
colouring. It was within easy reach of Copenhagen and we went
in almost every day, for one reason or another, and grew very
fond of the beautiful old city.
The time came for us to say good-bye. I was very sorry indeed
to leave dear little Denmark where we had had such a warm welcome.
Denmark is, of course, officially, absolutely neutral, but she
cannot forget the ties of blood and friendship that bind the two
island countries together. They are indeed a splendid people to
be kin to, tall and fair and strong, as becomes an ancient race
of sea-kings. I only hope that it may be my good fortune, some
day, to be able to repay in some small measure all the wealth
of kindness so freely poured out for us.
On Saturday, October 24, at 7 P. M. we started for Lapland!
Many of our very kind friends came down to the station to give
us a good send-off and with last presents of flowers, fruit, chocolates
and papers. We crossed first to Malmö on the ferry, which
took about an hour and a half. It was very calm and clear, and
we watched the little twinkling lights of Denmark gradually disappear
and the lights of Sweden gradually emerge in exchange. At Malmö
there was a customs examination which was not very severe, as
our things were all marked with a huge Red Cross, and then we
got into a funny little horse tram that conveyed us to the station.
When morning broke we were speeding along towards Stockholm.
The country was very different from Denmark, much wilder, with
rocks and trees and sand and an occasional glimpse of lake. At
that time Sweden was supposed to bear little good-will towards
England, and certainly our reception in that land was distinctly
a chilly one. We drove on arrival to a hotel which had been recommended
to us and asked the concierge if there were rooms. He said there
were, so we had our luggage taken down and dismissed the cab.
The concierge then looked at us suspiciously, and said, "You
are English?" "Yes, we are English." He then went
and confabbed for some minutes with the manageress, and returned.
"There are people still in the rooms, they will not be ready
for twenty minutes." "Then we will have breakfast now
and go to our rooms after." Another long conversation with
the manageress, and then he returned again. "There are no
rooms." "But you said there were rooms." "There
are no rooms." Evidently there were none for English travellers
anyway, so we went to another hotel opposite the station, where
they were civil, but no more. We had to stay in Stockholm twenty-four
hours and simply hated it. I had heard much of this "Venice
of the North," but the physical atmosphere was as chilly
and unfriendly as the mental one.
The recollection stamped on my memory is of a grey, cheerless
town where it rained hard almost the whole time, and a bitter
wind blowing over the quays which moaned and sobbed like a lost
banshee.
I was asked to luncheon at the British Legation, and this proved
a very fortunate occurrence for us all, as the minister was so
kind as to go to great trouble in getting us a special permit
from the Swedish Foreign Office to sleep at Boden. Boden is a
fortified frontier town and no foreigners are, as a rule, allowed
to stay the night there, but have to go on to Lulea, and return
to Boden the next morning. We started off on the next lap of our
northern journey that evening, and again through the minister's
kind intervention were lucky in getting a carriage to ourselves
in a very full train, and arrived twenty-four hours later at Boden.
It was extraordinarily interesting to sleep in that little
shanty at Boden, partly, no doubt, because it was not ordinarily
allowed. The forbidden has always charms. It was the most glorious
starlight night I have ever seen, but bitterly cold, with the
thermometer ten degrees below zero, and everything sparkling with
hoar frost. It was here we nearly lost a bishop. A rather pompous
Anglican bishop had been travelling in the same train from Stockholm,
and hearing that we insignificant females had been permitted to
sleep at Boden, he did not see why he should not do the same and
save himself the tiresome journey to Lulea and back. So in spite
of all remonstrances he insisted on alighting at Boden, and with
the whole force of his ecclesiastical authority announced his
intention of staying there. However, it was not allowed after
all, and he missed the train, and while we were comfortably having
our supper in the little inn, we saw the poor bishop and his chaplain
being driven off to Lulea. They turned up again next morning,
but so late that we were afraid they had got lost on the way the
night before.
All the next morning we went through the same kind of country,
past innumerable frozen lakelets, and copses of stubby pines and
silver birches, till we arrived at Karungi where the railway ends.
We made friends with a most delightful man, who was so good in
helping us all the way through that we christened him St. Raphael,
the patron saint of travellers. He was a fur trader from Finland,
and had immense stores of information about the land and the queer
beasts that live in it. He was a sociable soul, but lived in such
out-of-the-way places that he seldom saw anyone to talk to except
the peasants, and it was a great treat, he said, to meet some
of his fellow-countrymen, and his satisfaction knew no bounds
when he heard that one of us hailed from Lancashire, near his
old home.
From Karungi we had to drive to Haparanda. Our carriage was
already booked by telegram, but a very irate gentleman from Port
Said got into it with his family and declined to get out, using
such dreadful language that I wondered the snow did not begin
to sizzle. We did not want to have a scene there, so when "St.
Raphael" said if we would wait till the evening he would
take us over by starlight, we graciously let the dusky gentleman
with the bad temper keep our carriage.
We went in the meantime to the little wooden inn and ate largely
of strange dishes, dried reindeer flesh, smoked strips of salmon,
lax, I think it is called, served with a curious sweet sauce,
and drank many glasses of tea. At 9 P. M. behold an open motor-car
arrived to take us the thirty miles' drive to Haparanda. It seemed
absolutely absurd to see a motor-car up there on the edge of the
Arctic Circle, where there was not even a proper road. There were
several reindeer sleighs about, and I felt that one of those would
have been much more in keeping. The drivers look most attractive,
they wear very gay reindeer leggings, big sheep-skin coats and
wild-looking wolf-skin caps.
The frozen track was so uneven that we rocked from side to
side, and were thrown violently about in the car, like little
kernels in a very large nut. But it was a wonderful night all
the same, the air was thin and intoxicating like champagne, and
the stars up in these northern latitudes more dazzlingly brilliant
than anything I have seen before. We had to get out at Haparanda
and walk over the long bridge which led to Torneo, where the Finnish
Custom House was, and where our luggage and passports had to be
examined.
We arrived there very cheerful and well pleased with ourselves,
to find all our old travelling companions waiting till the Custom
House was open; the bishop and his party; the bad-tempered man
and his family; a Russian and a Chinese student who were travelling
together, and some others. They had been waiting in the cold for
hours, and had not had their papers or luggage examined yet, so
we had had the best of it after all.
And we scored yet once more, for "St. Raphael," who
spoke fluent Finnish, at once secured the only cart to take our
things over the ferry to the railway station about half a mile
away.
It was borne in upon me during this journey what an immense
country Russia is. From Torneo to Petrograd does not look far
on the map, but we left Torneo on Wednesday night, and did not
arrive in Petrograd till 12.30 A. M. on Saturday, about fifty-two
hours' hard travelling to cover this little track---a narrow thread,
almost lost the immensity of this great Empire.
Petrograd is not one of those cities whose charms steal upon
you unawares. It is immense, insistent, arresting, almost thrusting
itself on your imagination. It is a city for giants to dwell in,
everything is on such an enormous scale, dealt out in such careless
profusion. The river, first of all, is immense; the palaces grandiose,
the very blocks of which they are fashioned seem to have been
hewn by Titans. The names are full of romance and mystery. The
fortress of St. Peter and St. Paul, for instance, how it brings
back a certain red and gold book of one's youth, full of innocent
prisoners in clanking chains confined in fetid underground dungeons.
It seemed incredible to really behold its slender, golden minarets
on the other side of the Neva. But this was no time for sight-seeing,
we were all very anxious to get to work at once. So my first excursion
n Petrograd was to the Central Bureau of the Red Cross.
The director of the Red Cross received me most kindly and promised
that we should have work very soon. He suggested that in the meantime
we should go and stay in a Russian Community of Sisters, who had
a hospital in Petrograd. I was very glad to accept this offer
for us all, for we must assimilate Russian methods and ways of
thought as soon as possible, if we were to be of real use to them.
Still I very much hoped that we should not be kept in Petrograd
very long, as we wanted, if possible, to get nearer the front.
I told the director that we had been inoculated against cholera
and typhoid, and would be quite pleased to be sent to the infectious
hospitals if that would be more help, as there are always plenty
of people to nurse the wounded, but comparatively few who for
one reason or another are able to devote themselves to this other
very necessary work.
We betook ourselves without delay to the Community of Russian
Sisters, and were installed in dear little cell-like rooms at
the top of the house devoted to the Sisters. The other side of
the house is a beautiful little hospital with several wards set
apart for wounded soldiers. There are a great many similar communities
in Russia---all nursing orders. They are called Sisters of Mercy,
but are not nuns in any sense, as they take no vows and are free
to leave whenever they like. The course of training varies from
two to three years and is very complete, comprising courses in
dispensing and other useful subjects. The pity of it is that there
are comparatively few of these trained Sisters at the front; the
vast majority of those working there have only been through a
special "War Course" of two months' training, and are
apt to think that bandaging is the beginning and the end of the
art of nursing.
The Russian Sisters were most interested in our adventures,
and most kind and nice to us in every way, but assured us that
we should not be allowed anywhere near the front, as only Russian
Sisters were allowed there. They were very surprised when the
order came a few days after our arrival, that we were to get ready
to go to Warsaw at once. That was certainly not quite at the front
at that moment, as just then Russia was in the flush of victory,
following the retreating Germans back from Warsaw to the German
frontier. But it was a good long step on the way.
One errand still remained to be done. I had not posted the
letter given me by the English lady at the Brussels station to
her husband in Petrograd, wishing to have the pleasure of delivering
it myself after carrying it at such risks all through Germany.
Directly I arrived I made inquiries for this Englishman, picturing
his joy at getting the long-deferred news of his wife. Almost
the first person I asked knew him quite well, but imagine what
a blow it was to hear that he had a Russian wife in Petrograd!
I vowed never again to carry any more letters to sorrowing husbands.
Before we went I received a very kind message that the Empress
Marie Federovna would like to see us before our departure. Prince
Gustav of Denmark had been most kind in writing to his aunt, the
Empress, about us, and had also been good enough to give me a
letter of introduction to her which I sent through the British
Embassy.
A day was appointed to go to the Gatchina Palace to be presented
to her Majesty. The palace is a little way out of Petrograd and
stands in a beautiful park between the Black and the White Lake.
We were greeted by General K------, one of the Empress's bodyguard,
and waited for a few minutes in the throne room downstairs, chatting
to him. Soon we were summoned upstairs, a door was thrown open
by an enormous negro in scarlet livery, and we were ushered into
the Empress's private boudoir. The Empress was there, and was
absolutely charming to us, making us sit down beside her and talking
to us in fluent English. She was so interested in hearing all
we could tell her of Belgium, and we stayed about half an hour
talking to her. Then the Empress rose and held out her hand, and
said, "Thank you very much for coming to help us in Russia.
I shall always be interested in hearing about you. May God bless
you in your work," and we were dismissed.
I would not have missed that for anything, it seemed such a
nice start to our work in Russia.
Every spare moment till our work began had to be devoted to
learning Russian. It is a brain-splitting language. Before I went
to Russia I was told that two words would carry me through the
Empire: "Nichevo" meaning "never mind," and
"Seechas" which means "immediately" or "to-morrow"
or "next week." But we had to study every moment to
learn as much Russian as possible, as of course the soldiers could
not understand any other language. French is understood everywhere
in society, but in the shops no other tongue than Russian is any
use. German is understood pretty widely---but it is absolutely
forbidden now to be spoken under penalty of a 3000 rouble fine.
In all the hotels there is a big notice put up in Russian, French,
and English in the public rooms "It is forbidden to speak
German," and just at first it added rather to the complications
of life not to be able to use it.
In two or three days' time after our visit to the Empress we
were off to Warsaw and reported ourselves to Monsieur Goochkoff,
the head of the Red Cross Society there.
We received our marching orders at once. We were not to be
together at first, as they thought we should learn Russian more
quickly if we were separated, so two of us were to go to one hospital
in Warsaw, two to another. My fate was a large Red Cross hospital
close to the station, worked by a Community of Russian Sisters.
I must say I had some anxious moments as I drove with Sister G.
to the hospital that afternoon. I wondered if Monsieur Goochkoff
had said we were coming, and thought if two Russian Sisters suddenly
turned up without notice at an English hospital how very much
surprised they would be. Then I hoped they were very busy, as
perhaps then they would welcome our help. But again, I meditated,
if they were really busy, we with our stumbling Russian phrases
might be only in the way. It was all very well in Denmark to think
one would come and help Russia---but supposing they did not want
us after all?
By the time I got so far we had arrived at the hospital, the
old familiar hospital smell of disinfectants met my nostrils,
and I felt at home at once. I found that I had been tormenting
myself in vain, for they were expecting us and apparently were
not at all displeased at our arrival. The Sister Superior had
worked with English people in the Russo-Japanese War and spoke
English almost perfectly, and several of the other Sisters spoke
French or German. She was very worried as to where we should sleep,
as they were dreadfully overcrowded themselves; even she had shared
her small room with another Sister. However, she finally found
us a corner in a room which already held six Sisters. Eight of
us in a small room with only one window! The Sisters sleeping
there took our advent like angels, said there was plenty of room,
and moved their beds closer together so that we might have more
space. Again I wondered whether if it were England we should be
quite so amiable under like circumstances. I hope so.
I began to unpack, but there was nowhere to put anything; there
was no furniture in the room whatsoever except our straw beds,
a table, and a large tin basin behind a curtain in which we all
washed---and, of course, the ikon or holy picture which hangs
in every Russian room. We all kept our belongings under our beds---not
a very hygienic proceeding, but à la guerre comme à
la guerre. The patients were very overcrowded too, every corridor
was lined with beds, and the sanitars, or orderlies, slept on
straw mattresses in the hall. The hospital had been a large college
and was originally arranged to hold five hundred patients, but
after the last big battle at Soldau every hospital in Warsaw was
crammed with wounded, and more than nine hundred patients had
been sent in here and had to be squeezed into every available
corner.
My work was in the dressing-room, which meant dressing wounds
all day and sometimes well into the night, and whatever time we
finished there were all the dressings for the next day to be cut
and prepared before we could go to bed. The first week was one
long nightmare with the awful struggle for the Russian names of
dressings and instruments and with their different methods of
working, but after that I settled down very happily.
Sister G. was in the operating-room on the next floor, and
she, too, found that first week a great strain. The other two
Sisters who had come out with us and had been sent to another
hospital apparently found the same, for they returned to England
after the first five days, much to my disappointment, as I had
hoped that our little unit of four might have got a small job
of our own later, when we could speak Russian better and had learnt
their ways and customs.
After the first few days we began to be very busy. In England
we should consider that hospital very badly staffed, as there
were only twenty Sisters to sometimes nearly a thousand patients,
all very serious cases moreover, as we were not supposed to take
in the lightly wounded at all in this hospital. The sanitars,
or orderlies, do all that probationers in an English hospital
would do for the patients, and all the heavy lifting and carrying,
so that the work is not very hard though very continuous. There
was no night staff. We all took it in turns to stay up at night
three at a time, so that our turn came about once a week. That
meant being on duty all day, all night, and all the next day,
except for a brief rest and a walk in the afternoon. Most of the
Sisters took no exercise beyond one weekly walk, but we two English
people longed for fresh air, and went out whenever possible even
if it was only for ten minutes. English views on ventilation are
not at all accepted in Russia. It is a great concession to open
the windows of the ward for ten minutes twice a day to air it,
and the Sisters were genuinely frightened for the safety of the
patients when I opened the windows of a hot, stuffy ward one night.
"It is never done," they reiterated, "before
daylight."
The Sister Superior was the mainspring of the hospital. She
really was a wonderful person, small and insignificant to look
at, except for her eyes, which looked you through and through
and weighed you in the balance; absolutely true and straight,
with a heart of gold, and the very calmest person in all the world.
I remember her, late one evening, when everybody was rather agitated
at a message which had come to say that 400 patients were on their
way to the hospital, and room could only be made for 200 at the
most. "Never mind," she said, not in the least perturbed,
"they must be made as comfortable as possible on stretchers
for the night, and to-morrow we must get some of the others moved
away." And the Sisters took their cue from her, and those
400 patients were all taken in and looked after with less fuss
than the arrival of forty unexpected patients in most hospitals.
All night long that procession of shattered men brought in
on stretchers never ceased. The kitchen Sister stayed up all night
so that each man should have some hot soup on arrival, and all
the other Sisters were at their posts. Each man was undressed
on the stretcher (often so badly wounded that all his clothing
had to be cut off him) and hastily examined by the doctor. He
was then dressed in a clean cotton shirt and trousers and lifted
into bed, either to enjoy a bowl of hot soup, or, if the case
was urgent, to be taken off in his turn to the operating-room.
And though she was no longer young and not at all strong, there
was dear Sister Superior herself all night, taking round the big
bowls of soup or sitting beside the dying patients to cheer and
comfort their last hours. How the men loved her.
It was she who gave the whole tone to the hospital---there
the patients and their welfare were the first consideration and
nothing else mattered in comparison. The hospital was not "smart"
or "up to date," the wards were not even tidy, the staff
was inadequate, overworked, and villainously housed, the resources
very scanty, but for sheer selflessness and utter devotion to
their work the staff of that hospital from top to bottom could
not have been surpassed. I never heard a grumble or a complaint
all the time I was there either from a doctor, a Sister, or an
orderly, and I never saw in this hospital a dressing slurred over,
omitted, or done without the usual precautions however tired or
overworked everybody might be.
Of course the art of nursing as practised in England does not
exist in Russia---even the trained Sisters do things every hour
that would horrify us in England. One example of this is their
custom of giving strong narcotic or stimulating drugs indiscriminately,
such as morphine, codeine, camphor, or ether without doctors'
orders. When untrained Sisters and inexperienced dressers do this
(which constantly happens) the
PASSING COPENHAGEN ON THEIR WAY
FROM BELGIUM
Because our lips must be closed, and your teeth are set
Against the gale.
Our mouths are mute, our minds are open---
We shall greet you farewell in silence;
Sowers of good-will on fields where hate is sown---
Fare ye well.